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Ed Schoewe of Chicago, like many of you, is a big admirer of sports. He was the recent winner of our Dick Vitale online trivia contest, earning a trip here to Florida to spend a couple of days and enjoy several prizes. It was special, since Boston clinched a playoff berth with a win at Tropicana Field.

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Also, the only reason my wives divorced me was because I wanted them to. Some of the other candidates were quick to accept the challenge. And what about foreskins?

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He has done so well at dragging his rivals so far down into the sewer with him that portions of what we watched on Thursday night were a fetid farce. We actually witnessed an interchange — in the first 10 minutes, no less — about how well endowed or not he is. Can Fox News be the host of every G.

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Do we mean the Biggest Dick Ever as in, the biggest actual penis? Do we mean the Biggest Dick Ever as in someone who's acting like a huge dick? Write one, write the other, write both, write it all. Maybe he's got a monster.

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In a nutshell, The Big D! It's also the game of who does and doesn't get to do it their way, and who wins or loses. It's the game of being number one.

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The year-old UPS Store worker who won Brooklyn's smallest penis contest said he's proud of his puny package. Gilronan told the website he wanted to "put on a good show for the audience. Looks like my efforts were successful. Visit Gothamist for more on Gilronan and his wee-ner.


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