Past sexual experiences

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Want to share yours? I grew up thinking spouses would know every inch of each other, inside and out, backward and forward. When it comes to my past, though, things are a little murkier.

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Everyone has a sexual past. It makes you the person you are today. Life experiences, in general, are the best teaching moments, even if—especially if—there a few mistakes in there.

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Skip navigation! Learning all the interesting, hidden things about a new partner is part of the fun of getting into a fresh relationship. And the next step, after discussing the normal hopes, fears, and family stuff, is often an inventory of your past love lives. The subjects of these disclosures, whether having a fear of clowns, divorced parents, or a high number of sex partners, are part of what makes you you, right?

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From wild to weird, some people have a more elaborate sexual history than others. No judgment here! While the number of partners, specific deed, or fulfilled fantasy is in the past, sometimes history can have an effect on current relationships.

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There comes a point in many relationships when it's time to share. Not just your favorite spot on the couch, but your past. Your sexual past, that is.

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This can be incredibly painful; after all, why would someone who is supposed to love you make you feel so bad? You cannot change the past. You deserve someone who is willing to understand, respect and care for you, no matter what happened before. Your sexuality is something you have with you for your whole life.

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Jordan : Cultural acceptance of sexual assault and violence has made it really complicated for me to talk to partners. I always feel like I have to hide part of myself in my relationships and as a result it makes it really hard for me to be fully invested on an emotional level because I am constantly performing. And it makes me question how much I can expect a partner to give when I cannot and will not give all of myself.

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The subject often comes up in new relationships in the discovery and getting to know each other phase. Newly formed relationships between sexually active adults may have that component of curiosity on several different levels. How much should you tell, and what should you omit if anything? As you explore your sexuality together and talk about what you like and what excites you, the subject may come up in that context.

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