This will not post anything on Facebook or anywhere else. I think we can all agree, first of all, that a satisfying dump really is one of the purest joys in the world. And while deep in thought, appreciating the natural marvel that is pooping, we wondered just why pretty much every poop you've ever created in life is always accompanied with some urine.
You've fallen in love, and your mind is filled with plans for your future with your new partner — when you'll introduce them to your family, when you'll take your first trip together as a couple, and when you'll finally feel comfortable pooping at your significant other's house. Should you wait six months? Should you wait even longer?
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Dog owners have observed some odd behaviors among their pets — sniffing butts, eating garbage, giving unconditional love — but one habit has probably escaped their attention: Dogs apparently prefer to poop while aligned with the north-south axis of the Earth's magnetic field. That's the surprising conclusion of an exhaustive study, conducted by German and Czech researchers, who spent two years watching 70 dogs while they defecated and urinated thousands of times. The scientists then compared the dogs' behavior and orientation with the geomagnetic conditions prevailing at the time.
In my early twenties, I found myself in a relationship with a dorky kind of dude who had a lack of experience in basically… everything… due to being horribly babied by his over-protective and ridiculously rich parents. My twenties were strange. Due to this lack of experience in things of the world, there were times in our courtship that I honestly could not tell if he was joking about or if he was serious; and if he was serious, he was even more sheltered than I thought.
You probably don't remember who taught you how to wipe—your parents, most likely—or why you wipe the way you do. All you know is that once you were settled in on one style of wiping that worked, more or less, there was no real reason to change. But is it the right way?
Not poop, mud. Photo via Flickr user Eli Duke. We were two bottles of Prosecco down at a work leaving do when the subject turned to: "Have you ever done a shit in front of your boyfriend? The social anxiety surrounding the taking of a number two, along with the general grossness we all feel about poop—and the word poop, for that matter—makes the idea of a fetish for human waste completely unfathomable.
Pain is the body's way of signaling that something is going on. Stomach pain alerts us to something that's happening inside us that we might not know about otherwise. Some reasons for belly pain are obvious, like when someone gets hit in the gut or eats spoiled macaroni salad.