I lost my virginity to someone I loved, and to this day, I feel very lucky for that. As a gay man, I had always figured my first time wouldn't be special; that the expectation that two men would be down to bang immediately after getting together would cheapen my experience. Luckily, I was wrong.
Illustration by Shawna X. It should come as no surprise to Broadly readers that most of the world is organized around men. A man, Jacques Derrida, even created the word to express the idea: phallogocentrism.
Sex between men is a beautiful, passionate, awesome thing. Do you want to try anal sex? Do you want to kiss, suck, rub, or touch?
But I swear that each and every word of this is true. When I was in high school I was awarded the opportunity to go on a foreign exchange to a lovely tropical paradise—ah, Brazil—for senior year. As high-school girls are prone to do, I met a guy, another exchange student.
Yet for most of us, the first time is, well, awkward emotionally, logistically, spiritually, etc. It ended up getting out of hand with over people showing up. Since it was her first time, she bled everywhere.
Bottoming is a rite of passage most gay men make at some point in their lives. Some people, especially fundy Christians, see virginity as some kind of trump card to hold over potential suiters, a sacred act that must take place only after marriage. We like to think of losing our virginity as this magical thing between two people who are deeply in love, but the reality is, very few of us actually keep in close contact with the guys who popped our cherries.
Clayton Pettet, a year-old art student at Central Saint Martins College of Arts and Design in London, plans to have gay sex in front of a crowd of between 50 and people in London on Jan. Basically it's like I am losing the stigma around virginity," he said, per the Daily Star. Since culturally we do hold quite a lot of value to the idea of virginity I have decided to use mine and the loss of it to create a piece that I think will stimulate interesting debate and questions regarding the subject.
In this week's Sex Talk RealnessCosmopolitan. How old are you? Man A: Twenty-eight. What is your current relationship status?
For many years, one of my jobs was answering anonymous sex questions for a teen website. And when I did, I was reminded just how common it is for people to either worry that first sex will be painful, or to actually have painful first sex. When he put it in, it hurt really bad.
I was 19 when I first had full-on sex with another man. I was at college, living in dorms, and the experience—aside from the usual horrifying awkwardness and somewhat spontaneity of the occasion—was completely and utterly unremarkable aside from one thing: the guy I slept with identified as straight. It was late or early, depending on your outlook on the world when I was joined by the boy who was living in the room next to mine, way back on the other side of the building.